“Who, me?!?”

Oh Moses. Oh, dear, sweet, scared, doubting Moses. God comes to you; in a BURNING BUSH. A burning bush and you still doubt Him? He turns your hand leprous and then cleans it, and you doubt Him? The whole deal with the snake/rod thing…. I guess you can’t really judge what you would do in a time like that. God asks far less of me, and still I doubt. I am scared. I act without faith. Oh dear, sweet, scared, doubting Holly….

I missed yesterday’s reading, a wonderful day spent getting things ready for my sister’s baby shower coming up. I did miss reading but it was a relaxing and restful day. Even with all the stuff that was done.


I’m going over my notes that I’ve written for the two chapters and I’m wondering if I read the same chapter twice! I picked out verses 10-11 on both chapter three and chapter four as “stand out” to me.
Come now, therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharoh that thou mayest bring forth my people, the children of Israel out of Egypt. And Moses said unto God Who am I, that I should go unto Pharoh and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?

And Moses said unto the Lord, Oh my Lord. I am not eloquent neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: for I am slow of speech and of a slow tongue. And the Lord said unto him: Who hath made mans mouth? Or who maketh the dumb or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?

Why does Moses keep asking Why, me Lord? He grew up in Pharoh’s house. Wouldn’t that dawn on you that you  have somewhat intimate knowledge of the Pharoh and his household and how it’s run? You know your way around Egypt…..it baffles my mind sometimes. I know, I know. God knew all this and He has His mighty plan and everything works for the good of Him. Still confuses me. Sometimes.

When Moses asks who he should say sent him, isn’t that sign that he will go? Then he hems and haws around until finally God says: Fine, I’ll get Aaron to go with you, you big baby!! (I may have added some words in there…)
Side Note: I remember as a kid some Sunday School lesson or discussion in youth group or somewhere along the line we did a study on Moses and Aaron and I remember someone saying that Moses probably had a stuttering problem and that’s why Aaron went with him. Besides that God had planned on it. It stuck with me, not sure if it’s true. One of the things I want to ask God with I see Him.

What really stuck with me today was that how often do I make excuses to do something? And how often do I ignore God when he talks to me; blatantly and not. Some things to ponder on today and this week.


Girl Power

When I was younger, like grade school, I wrote a song called Girl Power. Not very interesting, I know. But writing the title it reminded me of this silly, non feminist, Spice Girl influenced, cheesy (I’m sure) song. I had to put that in.

Today’s reading of Exodus chapter 2 went much better than my thoughts of it would be. Oh me of little faith! The kids played all by themselves while I was reading with only one minor interruption. Thank you Jesus for that little token of wonderfulness!

I have to admit before I go into the chapter that I was sooo looking forward to reading my bible this morning. I almost had to read the chapter ahead of time just to see what it was going to say. I haven’t been excited or anxious about reading my bible in a long time. … I’m trying to think of when I was EVER anxious to read it and I honestly can’t remember a time. There may have been but if you’ve read any of my past posts than you would see that I don’t remember much, much of the time! But it feels awesome to be excited about God’s Word. It sure lifts my mood and I can see a difference in yesterday than the past week.

So, chapter two. Oh, what a story. First off, my heart just breaks thinking about Moses mother. Here it is, Pharoh decreeing that all male children should be killed (but not the girls) and bam! Out pops a boy. There were no sonograms back then and I’m sure they had their own “old wives tales.” I can picture all the expectant moms just being so nervous about their baby being born a boy and someone finding out and killing them (if it was a boy). Back to Moses’ mother: she has her baby and he was “a goodly child.” (or “exceedingly fair” from my KJV’s notes). She was able to hide him for three months….Sure babies sometime look gender neutral but trying to pass over a boy may have been a bit difficult. My heart wrenches over it. You know your baby is supposed to die, and your wishing and hoping with all your might that it won’t go through……

Thankfully, well God’s Sovereign plan, tells us his mom is smarty pants. Ok, she’s just smart; I doubt she wore pants. She made an “ark” and sent her daughter, Miriam, to the river where she knew Pharoh’s daughter would be bathing. Cunning maybe is a better word. (I bet she played cards well, if she played.) Lo and behold here comes the princess and she see’s something and inside is a baby. And when she opened up the “ark” the “baby wept.” She had compassion on him; her motherly instinct was kicking in. Go her.

Now, while I was reading this chapter I kept on checking on my little notes in my bible. It’s a KJV study bible and the notes are awesome and really helpful, especially during these chapters (and yes I realize it has only been two chapters).

In verse 10 of chapter two it says:  “And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharoh’s daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water.”

My “study” section tells me that women are the primary reason Israel stayed in tact. (I’m paraphrasing that a tiny bit but I’ll explain what I mean. Or what that means to me.) Throughout the first two chapters Pharoh is trying to get rid of the Hebrew people. He wants all the male children killed; what do the midwives do? They keep on delivering male babies. Male babies are being hidden: Moses’ mother saves hers. Even Pharoh’s own daughter adopts a Hebrew baby and brings him to “court.”

Women play a huge part in how things happen. Because of these things the kings impotence of destroying the Hebrew people are exposed! Girl Power.

Even further into the chapter God keeps on showing us these little examples and predictions about what would come to pass. How exciting. More to come…..


The Midwives

Today I embarked on a wonderful (at least I hope it will be) journey to reading through the bible. I don’t think I’ve ever read through the whole bible my entire life. So, through some comments not even aimed at me, I took it upon myself to do this. I should, anyway. I’m a Christan; I say I am, yet I haven’t read through God’s Word? I would say I don’t have the time, but it’s just laziness…..who are we kidding?

So, I joined an online bible study/reading group and today it was my job/task/joy to read Exodus chapter 1. (Now, I know I’ve read through Exodus, because I started reading through the bible once and only made it to Numbers. Hopefully that counts for something…..right?) Before I started reading I prayed that God would open up my eyes and give me wisdom and discernment in what I read.

Side note: Life with two little ones is a lot of fun. A lot. Most of the time. Guess what? When your trying to read your bible or have your devotion time? Not so much. Thankfully Jonah loves to play all by himself and he was happy out in the porch (bundled up, mind you since the temperate is below 75!) and Abby J is sitting at the table with me. Now, I’m dreading the moment she opens up her mouth to ask me something because I am so into reading. Well, the moment comes and lo and behold, it’s not so bad. She wants me to read what I’m reading aloud. Glory be to God! Or as one of my friends used to say ALL the time: Praise the LORD!

I was able to read through the chapter twice UN-interrupted again.  Then the questions started to come fast and furiously from my little bundle of energy. And not biblical questions like I was thinking….nope! “Can you help me go to the bathroom?, Can you get me a drink of apple juice?, Can I color with your highlighters/markers?,  Can you play with me?, Can you…… Finally I made her get down from her chair and go figure something out to play with.

After I cleared my head and put my focus on what was at hand I got down to brass tacks…..(I’ve just always wanted to say that- I got down to work!) My first “question” was to ask my self which verses really touched me or jumped out at me. I went back through the chapter again and vs.17-20 did.
“But the midwives feared God and did not as the King of Egypt commanded them, but saved the men children alive. And the king of Egypt called for the midwives and said unto them: Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive? And the midwives said unto Pharoh, because the Hebrew women are not as the Egyptian women, for they are lively and are delivered ere the midwives come in unto them. Therefore God dealt WELL with the midwives and the people multiplied, and waxed very mighty”

It makes me smile. Can’t you see Shiphrah and Puah? Just standing there in front of Pharoh, cool as cucumbers (in my imagination at least!), telling him it’s the Hebrew women. There too fast…. It makes me LOL. They didn’t fear Pharoh; they trusted God. And God blessed them “WELL!!!”
My mind plays this mini movie of them and all that I read and I think it helps to have the verses sink in.

I have to say that I can’t wait to read tomorrow’s…….



I like to think of myself as a thankful person. I mean, I am thankful for lots of things but sometimes is it just out of routine?
Kind of like when people say “sorry” all the time; is that how I say “I’m thankful,” or “thanks?”

Yesterday Rick and I had to travel a few hours away. We had to get up early and get ready and I’m never very good with mornings; but that is another blog….. a one less read. Once we got on the interstate we were both content. Him, listening to his music, me, playing some Farm Heroes (and not well either). Enjoying time together… when I look up and see no cars coming from the other side.

That piqued my interest and I’m craning my neck to see where all the cars are and why every car in our three lanes are hitting their brakes. Then we see it. A wreck. “Thankfully” on the other side of the road. As we get closer I get the phone and start snapping pictures (yes, I am that person…and I know I’m strange. I like wrecks. That’s in the other blog too….The one less read!). I don’t think you fully see everything passing by, even as slowly as we were. We kept going on our way and that was that. I looked at the pictures again and tried describing everything to Rick as he couldn’t look at it.

There were only two cars. One a pickup truck and the other a half semi. Both of them were white. The half semi (didn’t have as long a trailer as the “normal” ones,) looked like it had jack-knifed and the trailer part was smooshed (technical term there- watch out!). It was behind the truck facing back towards the traffic it was stopping. As I looked at the pickup tuck I could tell the driver did not make it. The cab was squooshed (another very highly educational technical term), and you knew there was nothing that could be done…

On the side of the road I could see a lady leaning over someone and this person had their knees up so I automatically thought that they were “fine.” There were people walking all around the site and it was so fresh there were no cops, no firemen, and no paramedics. Once we were a few miles down the road cops, and fire trucks, and ambulances roared by towards the site.

As Rick and I were driving by I kept on praying to God to be with everyone involved and that it would be ok. Also for the driver who we knew did not make it that he was a Christian and his family would be filled with the Holy Spirit during this horrific time.

It also got me thinking about Abby J. and Jonah…..

I sent some pictures into a local news website and one of them was published. A few hours after the accident Rick was checking the news site to look for my picture and we were able to read what really happened earlier. The semi truck was traveling North and probably just trying to get to point B. His front left tire blew (not sure why) and he lost control and jumped the median and landed in on-coming traffic. Right into the white pickup truck; also just trying to get to point B. Right into it.  No warning. Turns out there were two people in the pickup truck. The driver was killed instantly but the passenger they were able to get her out and there on the side of the road she died… The big truck driver was in very serious condition yesterday as people got him out of his truck and he’s in the hospital.

When I read through it my thoughts were just running wild. I was praying that they knew who Christ was and believed in Him and I “thanked” God that it wasn’t me and Rick in the wreck….. I know I’m going to heaven when I die. I believe whole-heartedly in that. All I could think about was Abby J. and Jonah.

In a blink of an eye it will happen.

I’m thankful it wasn’t me. I’m thankful that I get to live another day. (Hopefully a few more.) I’m thankful for Abby J. and Jonah and my family. I’m thankful that God sent His Son for me. And I’m thankful I believe! I’m thankful. For lots and lots and I don’t want to ever not be.

The picture :

The wreck that started the thinking.......

The wreck that started the thinking…….


“Sippin’ sizzurp in my ride…..”


This song is crazy. I can’t believe I like this song; it’s insane. Someone had to explain what that line meant to me. About drinking cough syrup to get high. So 2000.


So, I’ve gotten bigger. I think a lot bigger. But so many people have said that I don’t look 6 months. I certainly feel it. I can’t wait till she arrives; I’m really excited about it. I think Rick is super excited about it now too. Rick’s mom has gotten happy about the whole thing too. She’s bought baby clothes galore. Yeah! I know what I’m getting for my baby shower from my mom and dad.


I can’t believe I haven’t written in Xanga in forever……



There’s a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You”

 This song was playing right before I got home last night. It made me think of a lady in our church who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I posted it on her facebook; I hope it gives her strength. But it made me think of stuff too.
 I am so ready to have kids. Or at least I think I am. I know, financially, we probably aren’t ready but as I tell Rick over and over if we wait for that we’ll never have kids. He agrees but his mom I think tells him that all the time. And when I pray I find myself saying to God that I’m ok if I don’t have kids but I think I’m just saying that because I’m supposed to. Know what I mean? It’s like, of course I know he has His will but I WANT kids! I’m not ok if I don’t have them, I don’t know when I’ll be ok if I don’t have kids. If the Lord gives us what we desire why haven’t I gotten it yet. (I’m just kinda rambling……wanted to write last night and trying to remember everything I wanted to get out!) We’re supposed to be content with life, right? I feel like I’m being punished. And I know I shouldn’t feel like that, but some days that small thought creeps right in. And it’s hard to get it out. Every month, the same thing….
 December, I really thought was going to be the month. Apparently I was a little too stressed out at work. I finally got my insurance so it’s time, I think, to head to the doctor and see what’s up. When I think of that, I daydream that when the doctor runs these tests it will show that I am pregnant. My body has just been acting crazy. Not likely, but something I think about. And then the other daydream, or daymare, is that the doctor will say that I can’t have kids. I go from one extreme to the next. Oh well…..

 On another note I am so ready to go take some pictures of somebody. I want to go shoot a wedding pretty bad but I don’t know anybody that’s getting married. And I’m kinda scaared. If I mess up; that’s someones big moment. Scary thoughts. But I had so much fun shooting pictures of Candy and I want to do that again. I wish I just got paid to do that. That would be ideal, to be an outdoor photographer. Fun, fun. One day maybe. I’m having fun at work though too. Apparently I’m going to be promoted again. Still an Ass. Manager…….just a full time one now. Not a part time one. Even though I worked forty hours each week of that. I’m excited about that. Though, I do have to admit that since I’ve been a manager I feel like I was told more when I wasn’t one! How crazy is that. Sometimes I’ll go into the back and people are whispering and they stop when I get there. Crazy. Maybe their just talking about me…..hmmmm. Makes me think some more.
 Well, I’m gonna go make a list of ingredients I need from the store so I can make cheesecake cupcakes for my birthday this Friday! I’m hoping to go to dinner with mom and Candy. Maybe Matt and Rick…..We’ll see. I LOVE YOU ALL!