What have I, in this life
But the love, in your eyes
This empty world, will one day fade
Only your truth, will remain
Jesus all I have is you. You’re the hope I’m holding to
I might weep, but still my faith rests in you
As the heavens hold the skies, It’s your hand that holds my life
And you love will lead me on when all else is gone
That song is called All I have by Tim Dobbelmann and some other guys. Very good song. We played this at church this past Sunday. It is very powerful. All about hope and that has been the theme of the sermons this month at church. Hope. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU5ZrcqdVDw
It gave me hope. Sometimes I don’t feel “spiritual.” And this song really spoke to me.
So, Easter Sunday was definitely not like it was supposed to be!! We were planning on going to Sea World for the sunrise service and we did not make it. Friday night I called Adam and Danielle to talk to mom and dad since they were going to be there. Well they weren’t. The truck had broken down and they had to take it to the dealer to be fixed. So on Saturday mom called me at work and told me that they were going to go up to Adam and Danielle’s that night instead and they weren’t going to go to Sea World. Ok, I said. I would drive up to Adam’s after work. I didn’t get off till seven thirty. Well, I actually didn’t get off till nine pm. I called work and told him I would be home in an hour and wondered if he wanted to go to Lake Butler with me. He went on about how he didn’t have much warning.
When I got home he was on the phone so I went up and packed a bag of clothes for me and one for him. Once he was off the phone I asked if he was going. He said he didn’t think so so I said bye. Took my bag out to the car and I kissed Rick goodbye and told him that I wished he was coming with me. He said he wanted me to stay with him and not go. We went back and forth with him laying a huge guilt trip on me practically telling me that I loved my family more then him. I was feeling bad anyways and he just toppled more on top. He asked if I had put oil in the truck at mom and dad’s house where I reminded him that I hadn’t gone to their house.
So, after that I head in the house because I know I only have a quarter tank of gas and I doubt I can make it there and back with that! I called mom and dad and told them I wasn’t going to make it up there. I was balling my eyes out. I wish I could’ve gone. Life is soooo frustrating some times. So mom and dad came over after church on Easter Sunday. I cooked some yummy spaghetti alfredo and baked potatoes. I’m glad they came over so I could still see them!!
I stopped taking the pill. Woo-hoo. I’m hoping my mood swings stop completely!! Doesn’t mean were planning on getting pregnant right away. So, if your reading this and thinking that; get it out of your head!!! I think the thought of being pregnant kind of scares me now. I want kids, sure. But being pregnant scares me. I hope I get over that soon. Really soon!! I’m sure God will help me out with that! I have to have some hope!
I love you ALL
What have I, in this life